MEN who shorten the name David to ‘Dave’ are held in seething contempt by those who stick with the more formal option, it has emerged.
While guys who are happy to be addressed in a more casual fashion have confirmed they think blokes who insist on ‘David’ are uptight wankers.
David Logan said: “David is a noble name with a proud history. Michelangelo’s sculpture representing the strength and beauty of man wouldn’t have the same impact if it was called ‘Dave’, would it?
“And would the Thin White Duke have transformed popular culture if he was called ‘Dave Bowie’? No. He’d have been some chancer who did a bodge job on your bathroom and charged you three grand for it. Davids are clearly better.”
Dave Hudson commented: “All the coolest people christened David shorten it. Dave Grohl, Dave Brubeck, Dave Navarro. And it’s obvious David Attenborough is called Dave when he’s not on telly. He’s too great not to be.
“There are legions of dickish guys called David, though, from Beckham to Mellor to Schwimmer. And then there’s that mega twat who f**ked the country, David Cameron. I rest my case.”
David Logan added: “Damn. He’s got me there.”