A SAD hipster is desperate to know when he can go back to being normal.
Julian Cook confirmed he is not sure how much more bullshit he can do to convince people he is worthy of attention.
He said: “I’ve had my entire body tattooed by the age of 24 and I have a huge beard that’s an absolute pain in the arse to manage. I think my reproductive organs are fucked too due to these ridiculously tight jeans.
“And what’s with drinking £12 artisan peach cider out of a jar? When can I go back to just having a pint of Stella?
“Someone please make it stop. But do it ironically so that it’s stops in a really cool way.”
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, added: “Unfortunately for Mr Cook, the next stage of hipsterdom will be wearing one of those little caps that have a propeller on them while listening to Marillion.
“My teenage son is already doing all of those things and it’s one of the reasons I hate him.”