Dog wondering if he came on too strong by sniffing other dog's arse

A DOG is paranoid that he overstepped the mark by running up to another dog and sniffing its anus.

Dog Wayne Hayes was just being ‘in the moment’ when he bounded up to the stranger, but in hindsight he can see why the other dog made no effort to exchange social media details.

He said: “I spoke to my therapist about it recently, and she said that whenever I meet a new dog in the park I should take a few seconds, think about it clearly and then walk up and introduce myself properly.”

“But when I saw this other dog in the park today I just thought ‘let’s be friends!’, and then before I knew it I was round the back of him having a good old sniff.

“Then when I regained my senses I calmly turned round and said, ‘I’m Wayne. It’s nice to meet you.’”

Other dog Roy Hobbs said: “As a collie I have some personal space issues, especially with the arse part of my personal space.

“It’s good to be friendly but maybe he could have just brought a ball over and dropped in on the ground in front of me.

“Then I would have been happy for us to run around together for a bit going mental.”

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Most evolved species on planet stands at bus stop for 40 minutes before realising it is not in use

MEMBERS of the most intelligent species on the planet have spent 40 minutes waiting at a bus stop that has been out of use for months.

Wayne Hayes, who is part of the same species that ventured to the moon, only realised after he had stopped huffing at how late the bus was, then actually looking at the sign on the window of the bus stop.

Hayes said:“Compared to Einstein or Stephen Hawking, yes it probably does make me look like a bit of an idiot.

“But in my defence, well, I don’t suppose I have a defence. Maybe the sign wasn’t at my exact eye level or something.”

Fellow Homo sapiens Nikki Hollis said: “Everyone else was standing there so I just joined the queue. I didn’t even want to get on a bus.

“It’s their fault. I am angry with them.”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Human beings are the smartest species in the known universe. That is until monkeys learn how to send emails, at which point we’re all fucked.”