ANYONE considering getting a car now has to pay the DVLA from the moment it crosses their mind.
The vehicle agency, which recently made car tax non-transferable because it can, has warned that even non-driving Britons could be liable for car thought crime.
Teaching assistant Norman Steele said: “I got a moody letter and a £1200 fine dating back to when I bookmarked a Fiat Punto on a car website last April.
“I explained that I had gone off the idea since then but the monotone-voiced man at the DVLA said they had looked into my subconscious and on some level I still wanted it.
“I said that was nonsense but he replied ‘we have access to everything in your brain, including what you did in Prague in 2004’. I can’t say what that is but it’s bad shit that nobody knows about.”
A DVLA spokesman said: “If you’re thinking about, or thinking you might start thinking about, anything car-related then you need to give us money.
“Otherwise you will go to a special prison full of large bold rats that will get on your face.”