Friends make sure to get group photo of awful night out

AN AWFUL, depressing evening out has been immortalised in a cheerful group photo.

Dental nurse Donna Sheridan demanded that her friends “all get in close together and smile” although they were having a miserable time and looking forward to going home at the earliest possible opportunity.

Sheridan’s best friend Nikki Hollis said: “Emma lost her phone, Nikki was arguing with her boyfriend via text all night and Julian spilled a drink down the front of his trousers which he kept saying was typical of his overall bad luck in life.

“I accidentally tipped the barman a fiver because of some confusion over change, then we went to a club for a bit and felt very isolated from the other punters and from each other.

“But we made sure to get a photo of us all smiling to put on Facebook to show everyone how great our nights out are, even the ones where we all get kicked out of the club because it looks like Julian has pissed himself.

“Afterwards it took two hours to get a taxi because there was a massive fight at the rank and people kept pushing in. Still, in life you’ve got to focus on the fake good bits.”


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Trainspotting 2 about appreciating real ale

DIRECTOR Danny Boyle has confirmed that the new Trainspotting film will focus on the enjoyment of real ale.

Twenty years on from the original film, the main characters now have jobs, families and bouts of angina that makes taking smack impractical.

Boyle said: “The film opens with Lust For Life and Renton running down the high street to get home in time for his Ocado delivery.

“All the old characters are there – Renton, Begbie, the other two whose careers never really happened – and this time the caper isn’t about buying a massive shipment of heroin, it’s about making a lovely, nutty home brew on an allotment.”

The original film was controversial, with many claiming it needlessly glamourised Ewan McGregor.

The sequel comes with the tag-line: “Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. No, really, you should. They’re obviously much better than festering in a manky squat.”