Hipster-owned pets ashamed of their idiotic names

PETS owned by hipsters have expressed anger at being given names that are either jokes or knowing cultural references.

Dalston-based ginger tom David Pusslehoff, whose owner works in digital branding, uses the name ‘Max’ when among other cats.

He said: “My owner sees everything in his life as an opportunity to exercise his vain obsession with individuality. He is 37 and collects Buck Rogers toys.

“Apparently he considered calling me ‘Felix Da Housekatt’, ‘Atari’ or ‘Kitty Keith Chegwin’, which doesn’t even make sense.”

David Pusslehoff added that he got off lightly compared to other neighbourhood hipster-owned cats called Power Ranger, Sylvia Plath and Kerplunk.

Three-year old Boston terrier Robot Legs said: “While he was high on drugs, one of my owners said I walked like a robot, hence my name. Thanks, fucker.”

He added: “My owners made that advert that’s always on telly. It’s for yoghurt or something. It’s shit.”