A HOMESCHOOLED child has realised he is both more intelligent and better educated than his clueless cretin parents.
Julian Cook, aged 14, has been adjusting to distance learning by discovering that his mother and father cannot do simple maths, have read nothing, and thought Hitler was the baddie in both World Wars.
He said: “Dad told me my algebra was wrong because ‘you can’t add letters’. Mum refused to accept that Isaac Newton wasn’t Italian. Neither of them can spell.
“Over the last week I’ve had to gently disabuse them of the idea that Henry I to VIII reigned consecutively, and while I was briefly fooled into thinking Dad had read Emily Brontë he’s only heard the Kate Bush song.
“Then he wanted me to ‘bunk off’ my French revision so we could play football in the garden.
“They know nothing about anything. I never realised I was a prodigy. Or perhaps they’re both just very, very stupid.”
Mum Anna said: “And teachers think education’s difficult. I might switch to full-time home schooling next year so I can get the summer off.”