AN absurdly hot chili that also stimulates homosexual feelings has left British men deeply conflicted.
The Molten Death-Twitch Naga has been unveiled as the world’s hottest chili, leaving rampantly straight males with no choice but to eat it.
However the fiery fruit also contains high levels of a gay hormone that makes eaters appreciate penises and good design.
24-pints-a-night plasterer Roy Hobbs said: “This is a perfect storm for masculinity.
“On the one hand, this chili will cause me tremendous pain, therefore I must demand it at my local curry house.
“But as my friends roar in drunken appreciation of me tearfully licking the plate clean, I will want to kiss them lingeringly on the lips.
“I can’t eat it and I can’t not eat it. Maybe I should just kill myself?”
26-year-old recruitment consultant Tom Booker said: “Perhaps it’s alright to be gay, if you’re still aggressive?”