If anyone else acted like that I’d just call them a dick, admits mother of small child

A WOMAN whose toddler threw his breakfast at the cat is struggling to tell him off in a constructive way.

Francesca Johnson is aware that disciplining children requires being firm, calm and consistent, but admits that sometimes she would like to tell her son Oliver to stop being a dick.

Johnson said: “If one of my friends came to my house and emptied a bag of self-raising flour into the downstairs toilet and then laughed in my face, I’d be like ‘what the fuck are you playing at, you total bellend?’.

“I know he’s just a child and it’s a developmental stage and he’ll grow out of it, but unfortunately my husband is also a total pain in the arse so I do feel like I’m surrounded.”

Oliver added: “It’s not a developmental stage. I’m a dick.”