MEN across the world are celebrating International Women’s Day in the hope of having it off with a feminist.
As women remind each other of how very special they are, enterprising opportunists are lining up to say that today really is the most important day of the year.
Tom Logan, from Hatfield, said: “I’ve been thinking about my mother and all the sacrifices she made.
“How she was able to hold down a full-time job and be a full-time mum. She really is a kind of Superwoman.
“If it wasn’t for her, I would not be the man I am today. Can I get you another glass of wine?”
Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, said: “You know, a very wise and wonderful woman once said that the world would be a much better place if Lehman Brothers had been called Lehman Sisters.
“So true. So true.”
He added: “I just think Harriet Harman is brilliant. Really feisty and brave.”
Meanwhile Roy Hobbs, from Stevenage, said: “You’re right, if women were in charge there would be no wars, because a woman’s instinct is to nurture and protect. Except for Margaret Thatcher, of course, but she had the soul of a man.
“Remember how Spitting Image used to show her wearing a suit? They got that right, didn’t they?
“Yeah, I’d love to come up for a cup of coffee. That would be really nice.”
In other news:
Life is not some piece of shit film, women told
Children to be taught why women are out of their minds
Women should be hot, slutty secretaries with massive boobs, says equalities minister
