FUEL is unavailable across 90 per cent of Britain and every car journey burns more of it. But are the journeys you are making vital or wasteful?
You start the car. Where are you headed?
A) To a bridge above the M6 to spot tankers, follow them to filling stations and get the precious petrol before anyone else does
B) To drop the kids at school then work, though there’s only three-eighths of a tank left so I’m worried I won’t last through the weekend
It’s lunchtime. Where do you go?
A) On a tour of local supermarkets to see if one’s had a delivery, so you can join the queue and get another tenner’s worth in before the panic-buying bastards have it all
B) To pick up a prescription from the far side of town, passing several dry petrol stations on the way, watching the fuel gauge dip below a quarter
How do you plan to spend the evening?
A) Monitoring social media for any alerts about refilled pumps before going out at 11.45pm to fill a few jerry cans just in case. After all you might want to drive to Inverness tomorrow
B) Taking the kids to swimming lessons while nervously watching the fuel gauge head towards the red line, hoping this nonsense will end soon
Are you going anywhere at the weekend?
A) No. Apart from to get petrol before any other bugger does.
B) Inverness hopefully, for my grandmother’s 100th birthday. She’s not seen any family since Christmas 2019. All depends on whether we can get some petrol.
Mostly As: Your journeys are unnecessary, selfish and are the direct cause of the petrol crisis, but nothing will be done because you are for sure a Tory voter.
Mostly Bs: Your journeys are ordinary, considered and doomed to failure because you haven’t got to grips with the post-Brexit fight-for-fuel mentality. People like you hold Britain back.