Jamie Oliver food box contains instructions on cooking, obeying authority and voting Tory

A NEW meal delivery service from Jamie Oliver also includes instructions on how to live a good, conformist life.

Subscribers to Oliver’s ‘FoodBox’ service receive a weekly box containing fresh ingredients, recipes and rules for how to be a productive member of a modern capitalist society.

Mother-of-two Susan Traherne said: “We love all of Jamie’s products so it was exciting when our first box turned up with a delicious blackened cod recipe and a leaflet containing advice on how to live correctly.

“Apparently your government is always right, each family must have at least two confident children of both genders and everyone needs to work harder for a strong economy.”

Jamie’s ‘FoodBox Life Leaflet’ also says: “David Cameron is your friend and the Tories are the party of aspirational, attractive families like yours. Accept their authority and vote for them when required.

“Work hard at your job without ever questioning its ethics. Amass money and property. Obey the police and military.

“When not travelling to work or organising an impressive barbecue with Jamie products, stay indoors.”

It adds: “Fathers must wear plaid shirts and have short, well-kept beards. Mothers must have shiny hair but not be overtly sexual.”

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Cornish person genuinely thinks it is some sort of a country

A WOMAN from Cornwall thinks it is a nation of some kind, it has emerged.

Sales representative Emma Bradford explained her surprising beliefs when colleagues asked about her ‘Kernow’ car sticker.

She said: “Kernow has its own rich Celtic heritage, including a very popular language and a professionally-designed flag. We also invented fudge and seafood restaurants and are sick of Westminster telling us what to do.

“Our proud, soon-to-be-independent nation boasts such urban powerhouses as Truro and St Austell, with an economic infrastructure based on growth industries like basket making.

“And sometimes our men wear kilts. Not sure why, but it’s good.”

Bradford’s co-worker Norman Steele said: “Obviously we thought she was joking, so I made a quip about how Cornwall should have its own currency featuring Martin Clunes in the role of Doc Martin on one side and a big pasty on the other.

“She looked at me earnestly, said ‘not a bad idea’ and made a note in her phone.”

Colleague Mary Fisher said: “I thought I’d play along with the apparent gag by saying that I was from the nation of Wiltshire, part of a proud fighting race called the Swindonians.

“Emma said that if our two races joined forces in the coming rebellion we could do a power-sharing deal.”