LONDON’S daredevil mayor and Jeremy Hunt are to team up as the worlds least effective superhero duo, following public demonstrations of their respective superpowers.
Johnson, whose special power was revealed to be ‘hanging suspended’ is to be teamed up with Jeremy Hunt, whose special powers are ‘clinging on to his job’, and ‘hurling large metal bells at innocent bystanders’.
Johnson said: The combination of my awesome powers of hanging helplessly above things, like some sort of nightmarish Christmas decoration, combined with Jeremys ability to hurl heavy bells at people minding their own business, will be unstoppable.
“London needs superheroes – too many honest citizens are scared to go into the city. That’s possibly because I’ve created a sense of paranoid hysteria about travel during the Olympics, but crime could be a factor too.
Wherever there is strife, wherever there is injustice, Jeremy and I will be there, either dangling helplessly above it, or throwing a large brass bell at somebody near it.
Names are still an issue. Im toying with ‘Hanging Johnson’, ‘Suspendo’ or simply ‘The Dangler’.
Jeremy is just going to go with ‘Bell’, which means he wont have to change whats written on his locker at work.
Im as deliriously excited about this as I apparently am about absolutely everything else.”