'Living in your head rent-free' and other unbearable modern phrases

EVEN in lockdown it’s impossible to avoid the latest bullshit phrases. If only scientists could eradicate these…

‘Sorry, not sorry’

Not only a non-apology but one that’s incredibly irritating. Have you panic-bought 500 rolls of bog paper? ‘Sorry, not sorry’. Taken the family to Ibiza during a pandemic? ‘Sorry, not sorry’. ‘I am smug, selfish bastard’ would be refreshingly honest by comparison.

‘Living in your head rent-free’

This nonsense basically means ‘letting someone or something dominate your thoughts’. Not very snappy but at least it’s less confusing than this oh-so-trendy phrase used in everything from Twitter spats to gloating over beating your mate at Fantasy Football. Donald Trump has been known to say it. Think about that before you use it.


This slang term is now being used in front of words like ‘good’ or ‘bad’, as in ‘Have you seen Succession – that show is legit good.’ Well done people, you have created a phrase that is both new, redundant and truly annoying as f**k. 

‘Living my best life’

Nauseating to begin with, but now pretty ridiculous because we’ve all been trapped indoors for a year. Although many who use the phrase have just been ignoring the rules and adding tags on Instagram posts like #livingmybestlife and #sociallydistancedchampers for good measure.

‘OK, boomer’

What started as an interesting comment on the pressures facing millennials has quickly become a bad sitcom catchphrase meaning ‘I disagree with you, older person’. Also it helps if you actually find out what a boomer is instead of saying it to anyone over 28.

‘I did a thing’

A real social media favourite, this is a way to both boast AND underplay the fact that you’ve written a book, finished a play, or whatever. See also: ‘I’ll just leave this here.’

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Furious public can't believe they'll vote for Johnson again in a few years

BRITONS are so outraged by Boris Johnson’s poor performance they cannot believe they are going to vote for him again in 2024.

Angry voters say Johnson’s terrible mishandling of Covid, Brexit disruption and his obvious personal incompetence have left them with no choice but to vote him in for a second term.

Stunned voter Wayne Hayes said: “If there’s one thing we’ve learnt over the last year it’s that Johnson isn’t fit to lead. So it’s going to be a real shock when I inevitably give him my vote again.

“I’ll be standing there in the voting booth, pencil in hand, thinking of all the stupid things he’s said and all the terrible things he’s done. And then I’ll put a cross next to his name. It’s gobsmacking what an idiot I am when you think about it.”

Mary Fisher said: “We should boot him out like America did with Trump. We’ve even got a leader of the opposition who you could vote for without worrying about it too much. 

“My jaw’s going to hit the floor when Huw Edwards says Johnson’s won on election night. Even though I’ve voted for him I’ll still shout at my TV ‘Who the hell voted for him, apart from me?’

“Mind you he is funny, isn’t he? And immigrants.”