THE Royal family can enjoy the privacy they crave as soon as they return their money, art treasures and at least four of their palaces back to the nation. 

According to a new poll, the House of Windsor’s members have the right to be treated like any other family that does not get paid millions just for being them on the condition they forego those millions.

Denys Finch-Hatton, constitutional expert at the Institute for Studies, said: “Why are we angrier at Andrew than any other wanker on the Epstein flight list? Because we pay him.

“If he were a standard nepo baby he could misbehave in any manner he pleased. But while his existence depends on the largesse of those footing the bill for his antics, he can spend the next 25 to 30 years until his death shutting the f**k up.

“And that goes for the rest of them. Prince William needs to get over himself and begin dancing for coins. Prince Edward can step up. Send the Queen on a state visit to somewhere abhorrent in the Commonwealth, just to see the expression on her face.

“Otherwise the Saudis have put in a very generous bid, as have Disney. Don’t think we won’t sell. We’ve sold everything else.”

Wayne Hayes of Colchester said: “How about a telegram for my 50th instead of waiting until I’m 100. What, too much f**king work is it?”