A PARTY has ended in humiliation for the host after a much better musician picked up his guitar.
Professional musician Martin Bishop noticed office worker Tom Logan’s guitar during a relaxed dinner party that would soon turn into a demeaning personal nightmare.
Guest Nikki Hollis said: “Someone said ‘Cool guitar!’ or something, so Tom played a few chords briefly. I think it was Mr Tambourine Man but he’s not very good so it was hard to tell.
“Then Martin asked if he could have a go, which was bad because he’s a proper musician who does music for TV programmes and went on tour with someone quite famous once, maybe The Cranberries.
“Martin started playing all this amazing stuff and Tom had to sit there pathetically, like a man watching his beloved wife respond in ecstasy to the lovemaking of a skilled and virile seducer.
“He did all these tricky songs, but he may as well have just sat there playing E major and singing ‘You are shit, Tom, you are shit.’
“It went on for 40 minutes, during which Tom had this tragic false smile and looked as if he might cry. So while Martin may be able to play Metallica’s Master of Puppets he is definitely an arse.”
Logan’s guitar has now been moved from the living room to his bedroom because it was ‘in the way of a plug socket’.