Man realises all his older relatives are fascists

A MAN’S older relatives who seem quite nice all agree with Trump and have worryingly fascistic views, he has discovered.

Office worker Tom Logan’s ageing relatives are surprisingly keen on policies such as travel bans on Muslims, building a massive wall around Britain and introducing the death penalty for shoplifters.

Logan said: “Auntie Pat thinks Trump doesn’t go far enough and would ban all immigrants because apparently it’s a proven fact that Britain is ‘full’.

“Uncle Bob agrees and thinks we should start deporting people and have big compulsory meetings where everyone wears Victorian outfits and sings patriotic songs about the empire.

“It’s quite disturbing because I thought they were more into gardening and coach trips than secretly planning the dictatorship out of V for Vendetta.

“Then there’s my mum, who’s obsessed with bringing back capital punishment. That’s not massively unusual, although showing public hangings on The One Show definitely is.

“Even nice old grandma Reeves is terrifyingly xenophobic. I didn’t even know people were genuinely prejudiced against the Welsh until she told me they’re all thieves.

“I’m dreading our next family meal out because the waiters must think we’re setting up some new neo-Nazi organisation.”