Man theoretically buys homeless person a sandwich

A WOULD-BE good Samaritan is theoretically up for buying a homeless person something to eat.

39-year-old office worker Norman Steele did the hypothetical good deed after homeless Stephen Malley asked him for change.

After ignoring Malley, Steele said: “You can’t give them money because they only spend it on smack.

“The sensible thing to do is to go and get them a sandwich and a drink, like the homeless equivalent of giving someone a book token.

“Otherwise you’re just perpetuating the cycle of unfortunateness.”

Steele’s girlfriend Susan Traherne said: “Seeing as Norman seems to have this all worked out, you’d have thought the ideal time to put his philanthropy into practise would have been when approached by a homeless person who claimed to be hungry.

“But Norman just averted his eyes and quickened his pace. Maybe the ‘sandwich gift theory’ is part of a bigger strategy of slightly patronising charity work.”

Homeless person Stephen Malley said: “I will accept any donations, however condescending.”