Wednesday, 26th February 2020

Man 'weighing in' on debate about period poverty advised to get to f**k

A MAN who thought a conversation about ‘period poverty’ needed his ill-informed opinions has been told in strong terms it did not.

Stephen Malley joined the workplace discussion after seeing a packet of sanitary towels on sale in Tesco for 25p and therefore assuming he was an expert on the costs of menstruation. 

Amongst other opinions, Malley announced that women who could not afford to buy sanitary protection had probably spent all their money in nail bars and on Lambrini instead.

Colleague Nicki Hollis said: “We tried telling Stephen that a 25p sanitary towel was about as much use to a woman in full flow as using a flannel to mop up a river.

“That didn’t stop him telling us free sanitary protection was ‘woke lefty b*llocks’ and that women managed without tampons in medieval times, as if that was a useful contribution. 

“At that stage we knew he was just a massive b*llend and told him in a variety of ways he could f**k right off.”

Malley said: “I thought telling them to use bits of ripped-up bed sheets was good advice. It’s free and environmentally friendly, if you wring them out.”