Wednesday, 28th October 2020

MAN WHO SENDS UPPER CASE TEXTS TALKS THROUGH BULLHORN IN PUB

A MAN whose opinions are expressed in all caps on WhatsApp, Facebook and MailOnline comments also takes a megaphone to the pub. 

Wayne Hayes, an unemployed car park attendant, is so adamant that his thoughts deserve the attention of others he never types without first engaging caps lock and never speaks without electronic amplification.

He said: “THESE ARE MOMENTOUS TIMES AND THE VOICES OF MEN LIKE MYSELF WHO SEE THE TRUTH THE SHEEPLE AT LARGE PREFER TO IGNORE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER.

“WAKE UP AND LISTEN TO THE TRUTH SHOUTING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE THROUGH A CRACKLY MEGAPHONE FROM TWO INCHES!”

Tom Booker, landlord of Steele’s local The Bay Horse, said: “Wayne comes in each evening at 6pm, with his electric bullhorn, and expresses his thoughts volubly at a high volume.

“Often it’s about not believing the lies of the establishment by which he means BBC Midlands News which we can’t hear over his voice anyway.

“He often sits himself down with strangers and starts blaring at them about chemtrails or whatever. They complain but as I always say, if you don’t like him block him.”