OFFICE worker Tom Booker reckons he’s real hot shit after potentially making £350 on Royal Mail shares.
Database administrator Booker, who now closely identifies himself with Michael Douglas’s Wall Street character Gordon Gekko, said: “I scented blood and I went for the kill.
“To the victor the spoils.”
First-time investor Booker arrived at work today sporting a pair of red braces purchased from Tie Rack.
He was later overheard by colleagues wondering how many ‘hookers’ and how much cocaine he could get with a sum in the region of £350.
Booker said: “Fuck all you chumps and losers, I am the lion, hear me roar!
“Now if you’ll excuse me, time is money. And money is power.”
However it emerged that Booker has yet to ‘cash in the chips’ from his high-stakes stock market deal.
He added: “Does anyone know how you actually sell these shares? I’ve looked on Google but I don’t want to do it wrong.
“I hope it’s not too complicated.”