THOUSANDS of heroic Britons are selflessly downing extra pints of beer in the name of fiscal solvency.
Across the country, brave drinkers have been doing their part to make up for the £6.5bn deficit caused each year by deviant teetotallers.
Bill McKay, from Doncaster, said: “I don’t like the term ‘hero’. It gets to me when people call me that.
“I’m just a normal man doing his bit for his country by knocking back six pints and a couple of chasers on a Thursday evening.
“Of course it’s not easy, but when I get home I want to be able to look my family in the eyes, or where I think their eyes are, and know that I’ve played my part.”
He added: “I don’t how these teetotallers can live with themselves. They’re filthy traitors and they should all be put in jail.”