Neighbours delighted man's friend beeped car horn 15 times as he left last night

A MAN’S neighbours are glad his friend was able to beep his car horn numerous times last night as way of saying goodbye.

Julian Cook invited mate Martin Bishop over for dinner and drinks with their respective partners before Bishop left at 12.56am with the jolly honking farewell.

Neighbour Emma Bradford said: “It’s just so nice he was able to affirm his friendship and show appreciation for the evening. I don’t mind that I had an early shift at the hospital.

“It was so cheery and uplifting it was as if he was beeping his horn because England had won the World Cup or it was New Year’s Eve in central London.

“And not a cul-de-sac in Stevenage on a fucking Wednesday night.”

Cook’s other neighbour Roy Hobbs said: “I was just on the cusp of deep sleep so I woke in a panic thinking it was a three-minute warning by the government about a nuclear attack.

“I was halfway down the stairs with a hammer looking for Russian paratroopers before I came to my senses. Still, so long as they had a good night.”


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Man decides 10-pin bowling is 'just a laugh' after discovering he's shit at it

A MAN going 10-pin bowling suddenly began larking around after his first two bowls were hopelessly inaccurate, friends noticed.

Wayne Hayes began the evening with the seriousness of a bomb disposal expert but decided he would be treating it humorously when his first two attempts ended up in the gutter.

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “On the way Wayne implied he was good at bowling, although he did keep getting confused and calling a strike a ‘smash’.

“However, when it became clear he’s got the coordination of a drunken toddler in an earthquake he said bowling was something no one takes seriously.

“At that point he started dicking around by taking a ridiculously long run-up or rolling the ball really slowly down the lane, then pretending to celebrate when he’d missed again.

“He also did impressions from The Big Lebowski, which made the whole experience far more painful than him just being rubbish at it.”

Hayes said: “I’m actually really good at bowling but I didn’t want to show the others up. Dude.

“It’s a shit game anyway.”