Northerner likes coffee

A NORTHERN man has shocked colleagues by expressing a preference for fancy coffee over a large mug of very strong tea.

Northern person Tom Booker, who works in London, shocked workmates by arriving at the office with a cappuccino rather than the sweet, nut-coloured tea beloved of his species.

Booker’s workmate Donna Sheridan said: “How did Tom learn about cappuccino? Maybe he saw someone ask for one on a black and white television.

“It’s a shame he’s abandoned his roots. You don’t see people sipping lattes when they queue up for their dole in Ken Loach films.

“Perhaps it’s for a caffeine-loving ferret he keeps secreted in his trouser pocket.”

Booker’s line manager Joanna Kramer said: “He pretends to like coffee in an endearing attempt to seem cultivated, but you can see him wrinkle his nose at its sophisticated underlying bitterness.

“Tom does get annoyed when I ask him if he’s absolutely sure he knows what an espresso macchiato is.”

Booker said: “For the last fucking time, I’m from Luton.”