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Nostalgic Glastonbury TV viewer wistfully pisses in bottle

A MAN who has become too old to go to Glastonbury is watching the highlights on TV and sadly urinating in a bottle that he intends to hurl at the wall.

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New parents find time for what they love as long as it can be done asleep on toilet

PARENTS of a newborn have found they are still able to pursue their passions at 3am seated on the toilet.

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