Plastic shoes sold with free penis removal

MALE buyers of slip-on plastic shoes will be offered the chance to have their genitals removed at no extra charge, it has emerged.

Look at these bad boys

‘Croc’ type plastic footwear has become increasingly popular in recent years, particularly among ageing men who have become tired of sex.

A Crocs spokesman said: “It became clear that all of the men buying our shoes wanted to abandon their masculine gender identity.

“Certainly they weren’t concerned about attracting women, or what the opposite sex might think of them. Their penises had become burdensome.

“So we thought, let’s give them the chance to become fully emasculated, as a special bonus gift.”

The laser penis removal is painless, takes less that 90 seconds, and leaves a smooth round hole in the recipient’s groin.

Plastic footwear fan Roy Hobbs, who no longer has a penis, said: “I’d much rather have comfortable, well-ventilated feet than genitals.

“It’s very liberating to no longer be a sexual being. I am free of guilt and shame, free to enjoy my versatile plastic shoes.”