Plumber making men feel inadequate for not knowing plumbing

A PLUMBER regularly humiliates men in their own homes because they do not understand plumbing, it has emerged.

Roy Hobbs uses his plumbing knowledge to imply he is a rugged working man while male customers are weak and ineffectual due to their lack of practical skills.

Accountant Stephen Malley said: “When Roy came to fix the shower he immediately made me feel like an effete, middle-class idiot because I wasn’t sure where the stopcock was.

“He then highlighted my lack of knowledge about water pressure, air traps and combi boilers while glancing at my wife as if to say, ‘What sort of a girly man are you married to?’

“At one point he said I should ring him if we were approached by cowboy plumbers, with the clear implication I was too feeble to stand up to real men who know about pipes.

“He did finally fix the shower, but not until he’d told me about various plumbing jobs as if he was a hard-bitten combat veteran describing his tours of duty in Vietnam.”

Hobbs said: “You’d be surprised how many men know nothing about plumbing. I expect they’re the sort of cowards who pushed women and children out of the way on the Titanic.”

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Trump eases world's nerves with rambling and demented speech

DONALD Trump has eased the world’s nerves with a waffling speech like a man who’d just been hit with a spanner.

Trump, who took the stage looking like he’d just run over his own dog, began his speech by rambling about something or other before denying everything and blaming everyone else.

US voter, Tom Booker said, “I feel a lot more at ease after watching him denying questions about pissing on prostitutes and saying that no one cares about his tax returns.

Plus, he said that the inauguration is going to be beautiful so that’s that sorted anyway.

A load of military bands by the sounds of it. Which isn’t reminiscent of North Korea or places like that at all.

And I’m glad that he ended with the catchphrase from his TV show. That settled my nerves more than anything.”

Democrat voter, Carolyn Ryan added, “I’ll sleep better tonight knowing that as a germaphobe he must have been going through absolute hell shaking all those voters hands when he was out campaigning.”