Runaway dads ever so worried about public opinion

A LOUD chorus of tut-tutting will sort out Britain’s scumbags, it was confirmed last night.

Harnessing the power of unimpressed strangers

Across the country utter pieces of shit admitted they would be powerless in the face of a public disapproval onslaught.

Their humiliating surrender was a victory for David Cameron and his magnificent decision to use Father’s Day to launch his invincible opinion about fathers.

The prime minister said: “Like drink-drivers, runaway dads have blown into a bag. They should be held responsible for that.

“If you see one, wag your finger and tell him to stop acting the goat.

“You’ll know you’ve touched a raw nerve if he lunges at your chest with a broken bottle.”

Sociologist, Dr Tom Logan, said: “Absentee fathers are exactly like drunk drivers, especially if the car is really drunk too and they both decide to go for a dirty spin behind KFC.”

Wayne Hayes, a father of at least four from Darlington, vowed to begin an extensive pub crawl this morning in a bid to find out where his children live.

He added: “My entire life has been a relentless quest for the approval of Daily Telegraph readers.”

“I can’t believe I got it so wrong.”