A SCOTTISH student has admitted he would swap every ‘Higher’ he achieves today for a simple, honest A-level.
As 18-year-olds north of the border receive their National 5, Higher and Advanced Higher results, Will McKay confessed the whole lot of them do not add up to so much as an A-level in textile design from Stoke-on-Trent College.
He continued: “My mother’s proud. She’s lived in Stirling all her life. She has no comprehension of how parochial an achievement this is.
“Like Scottish banknotes, up here my qualifications are worth something. But present them to anyone south of Leeds and you’ll be laughed at, cruelly, in English accents.
“Imagine going to even as lowly an institution as De Montfort University and saying ‘Please sir, I have three As and two Bs but in Highers, which are like A-levels but not them, may I come in?’ Imagine the sneer of contempt as they ejected me.
“These Highers are a prison. They mean you’ll never be able to leave Scotland. It’s indentured slavery for Celts. Today, I achieve excellent results and condemn myself forever.”
First minister John Swinney said: “And university’s free. We know how to keep our young trapped. Though some do run away with Edinburgh Fringe shows.”
