PEOPLE who see themselves as ‘spiritual’ are to planning mark Christmas in a non-relgious but still irritating fashion.
Francesca Johnson, 28, likes incense and believes in crystal magic instead of Jesus magic.
She said: “I embrace some aspects of organised religion, particularly the bits about living forever in a patchouli fairyland in the sky.
“My family and I will dedicate Christmas to quiet contemplation of how amazing we are.
“Instead of watching the Queen’s Speech, we will spend Christmas believing Prince Charles knows what he’s talking about.
“And a roast turkey looks too much like the patriarchal fantasy of a naked woman with her legs splayed. So we’ll be having a nut roast, which has no discernible gender.”
Dreadlocked pharmaceutical company heir Wayne Hayes, who believes in ‘a force’, said: “When you’re as wealthy I am you realise that money means very little.
“There’s something very selfish about gifts. So I’ll be spending Christmas on a beach in Goa, being handed drinks by small boys.”