PEOPLE should stop using the weird Americanism ‘so’ to start sentences, it has been decided.
A worrying number of Britons are prefixing what they say with a superfluous ‘so’ in an attempt to sound ‘with it’, but instead are coming across as impressionable twats.
Office worker Emma Bradford said: “My friends keep saying ‘So. I’m moving flat in a fortnight’ or ‘So. I’m thinking of having pasta tonight’. When did everyone decide this was normal?
“At first I thought it was an Australian thing, like that implied question mark at the end of each statement after people had been watching too much Neighbours.
“Now I’m pretty sure it’s another horrible Americanism like ‘gotten’. It just makes everyone sound like an annoying character in one of their crap programmes about neurotic millennials.
“It’s like going into a British shop and asking to see some ‘pants’ when you mean trousers. That’s not being ‘cool’ or ‘on-trend’, it’s just being a wanker.”
Graphic designer Martin Bishop said: “So. I will be having a shit at some point today. Are you impressed by the modern way I said that?”