THE man behind a ‘Straight Pride’ parade has conceded that any succession of floats, marching bands and costumed adults is going to look camp.
Martin Bishop, a 38 year-old white, heterosexual male, wanted to show his pride in who he is, despite the overwhelming prejudice he has faced in life.
He said: “First I figured army men would look really heterosexual, but then I started thinking about YMCA.
“Then I envisioned a line of marching footballers, but you’d be surprised how camp a line of men in shorts looks when they’re doing anything other than sport.
“Choosing music was a nightmare. I wanted to go with Whitesnake, but it turns out they’re from the 80s, which is basically camp on a stick.
“Eventually all I was left with Chuck Norris walking down a high-street by himself, holding up an A3 photograph of Brian Clough. That’s not really a parade.”
Bishop is now planning ‘Straight Pride Glass-Fight In a Pub’ but stressed it would just be for ‘tough, muscly guys’.