POCKETING things at the supermarket is like going to a really good food bank, it has been claimed.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The government isn’t going to do anything about food poverty, but then why should it when Britons can just wear a big coat to Tesco? Or Waitrose if you are more aspirational.
“Those places are massive and literally packed to the rafters with delicious food. You just need nifty fingers, loose-fitting garments and a bold attitude.”
Mother-of-two Mary Fisher said: “Going to a food bank is ok if you like out-of-date Heinz soup. But the old five-finger-discount from the supermarket is much better.
“Right now I’ve got a lobster up my jumper. I told the security guard it was my left breast and he backed away.”