Teacher given whole box of Maltesers for putting up with absolute little shit for a year

A TEACHER who kept her temper with an outstandingly horrible adolescent girl for a full year has been rewarded with a £3 box of Maltesers.

Joanna Kramer has endured constant provocation from 14-year-old Nikki Hollis since last September and has now been thanked with a gift worth less than a babysitter gets per hour.

Kramer said: “No reward would be adequate for dealing with Nikki. But some rewards are more inadequate than others.

“She snipes, she mutters, she connives, she disrupts and to top it all she’s thick as pigshit. So thank you, Nikki’s parents, for a small box of spherical chocolate.

“When Josh’s mother gave me a bottle of Prosecco at least she acknowledged the numerous weeknights I’ve been driven to drink by his totally incomprehensible homework.

“But Nikki? A £40 bouquet would barely recognise what a saint I’ve been. That bitchy remark about my ‘granny hair’ was worth a bottle of vodka alone.”

Hollis’s father Dan said: “Look, if everyone’s getting compensation for how dreadful Nikki is I’m in line for millions.”