Teenager’s accent changes dramatically when parents leave the house

THE neighbours of a well-spoken teenager have noticed his accent radically alters when his parents are not around.

17-year-old Tom Logan’s speech transforms from middle-class ‘nice boy’ into hardened South London ‘roadman’ the minute his parents go to their well-paid jobs or Waitrose.

Neighbour Julian Cook said: “Today I heard Tom say, ‘Bye mum. I’ll finish off the leftover quinoa and feta salad if that’s okay with you.’

“But when one his mates came over a bit later I distinctly heard him saying things like, ‘Shut up fam, she’s proper peng ting.’

“I thought perhaps his parents had hired a Chinese tutor, but when I heard him describe our stockbroker suburb as his ‘endz’ I realised it was just middle-class teenager identity bollocks.”

Logan said: “My parents could never accept the fact that despite being able to play the bassoon I’m actually very street.  

“Private school isn’t immune to turf wars. The beef between the badminton team and the debating society mandem is bare peak.”