BRITAIN is finally safe from the perils of Tony Benn, the Sun has declared.
The tabloid newspapers website ran the simple headline PHEW! following the death of the 88 year-old former MP and anti-war activist, who once dared to suggest that Rupert Murdoch might be a total bastard.
In 1984, following an in-depth investigation lasting almost 30 seconds, the Sun declared Benn to be the most dangerous man in Britain, causing some confusion at the time, given the very obvious existence of the IRA.
According to the newspapers editorial today: It is a new dawn in Britain. Our children can now grow up in safety, knowing their lives will not be utterly destroyed by The Benn.
Declaring victory the paper added: It has been a long struggle – The Benn was devious and cruel – but we have prevailed. Youre welcome.
Jane Thompson, a Sun reader from Stevenage, said: He was so dangerous.
The way he never hounded anybody or hacked a phone. Or the way he opposed rather than encouraged racism and homophobia.
He was basically a rabid wolf let loose in a shopping centre.
Meanwhile, after watching the flood of tributes for the socialist icon, Ed Miliband has asked the Benn family if he can have the pipe.