MILLIONS of perfectly normal Britons firmly believe they have some sort of ‘victim’ status, it has emerged.
Large numbers of people have decided they are brave victims of a world that is out to get them, despite having no real problems to speak of.
Accountant Martin Bishop said: “There’s Black History Month, so why isn’t there White Middle-Aged Accountants Month?
“I worry for my children because all they’ve got to look forward to is going to university, enjoying themselves and forging a career of their choice.
“Sometimes I think us ordinary people should rise up against our oppressors, but I’ve got a golf holiday in Portugal booked.”
Office manager Emma Bradford said: “The government’s always going on about refugees and the poor, but who’s looking out for people like me who are essentially fine?
“The political elite don’t care about ordinary families who’ve worked hard with nothing to show for it except a house, two cars and lots of possessions.
“As if that wasn’t bad enough they’ve taken away our culture, by which I mean there’s occasionally something on telly about Ramadan.”