We ask you: Generation Z are less happy than their elders. Is it their own fault?

A NEW survey shows Generation Z in the US and Europe are significantly less happy than older generations. How can we cheer them up? 

Bill McKay, lobster fisherman: “I notice they also drink less and have less sex than previous generations. I wonder if there could be some kind of link.”

Tom Logan, arbitrator: “I’m Generation X, and we had all their worries like joblessness, climate change, and shit jobs, but we also had ecstasy and Pete Tong mix CDs.”

Margaret Gerving, retired headmistress: “Apparently young people are far happier in Moldova, Saudi Arabia and El Salvador, so let’s ship our miserable bastards there.”

Ryan Whittaker, student: “I blame social media. Particularly Snapchat. Specifically that twat Kayden who won’t stop spreading rumours about me copulating with an oven-ready chicken.”

Roy Hobbs, mobile windscreen technician: “The evidence is in. When will the Tories do what’s right for the young and take us into war?”

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Is this married father-of-two too gay to be the new James Bond? A Mail investigation

AARON Taylor-Johnson is hotly tipped to be the next James Bond. But has the talented hunk with industry connections got what it takes to be 007? The Daily Mail investigates.

James Bond is the coolest character in the history of fiction. When he’s not killing henchmen with naff gadgets he’s being pedantic about his martini. No wonder women want to be with him and men also secretly want to be with him.

A cool character needs to be played by a cool actor. Who could forget Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and that guy who only did one movie? Sadly, Hollywood seems to have missed the memo by reportedly casting a beta cuck who grows his own kale and thinks feminism exists.

Even worse: Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a married house-husband who clearly works out. In other words, he might be a bit too gay for the role. Clearly his marriage is a smokescreen and he’d rather be copping off with Blofeld than getting his leg over Pussy Galore.

Picture the scene in the next Bond film. A mad scientist is poised to trigger nuclear war with a satellite mounted to a bomb. The clock is ticking and there are only seconds left to save the world from total annihilation. But all 007 can think about is the decor in the volcano lair.

Meanwhile, Sydney Sweeney will be manacled to a nearby wall with the all-important self destruct button hidden in her knickers. If only James Bond could use his trusty heterosexual male libido the day would be saved. Instead, audiences can expect Taylor-Johnson to deliver a tedious equality lecture like in the man-hating film Barbie.

One thing’s for sure, with four daughters at home to worry about, his mind won’t be on the job. Instead of unzipping cocktail dresses with his watch, Taylor-Johnson will be thinking about the school run and his wife who is 24 YEARS HIS SENIOR like the shadow of masculinity that he is.

Either way, a proper James Bond should be played by a suave, charismatic lothario like Idris Elba or Donald Glover. If Pinewood Studios can find a white version of them then they’ll be on to a winner.