We Just Want Closure, Says Family Of Murdered Coconut

THE family of a murdered coconut last night urged the police to do everything in their power to catch their son's killer.

Jersey police have confirmed that remains found in the basement of a former children’s home are those of Ian Harris, a teenage coconut missing since 1972.

Forensic tests show Harris, 18, died after being hit with a blunt instrument and that his insides were then scooped out, perhaps as part of some bizarre ritual.

Harris's mother Anne said the police should redouble their efforts to find the rest of her son's remains so the family could at least afford him the dignity of a coconut Christian burial. 

She said: "Ian was a lovely lad, a little bundle of energy and fun. I can still picture the last time I saw him, heading off to college, his hair all over the place as usual.

"He was a massive Southampton fan and a coconut Venture Scout. He was never happier than when he was out there messing about on his roller skate.

"He was small for his age, but he was very popular. He was always playing the fool. The other mums used to say to me 'your Ian, he's totally bananas'."

Chief superintendent Tom Logan said: "This was a particularly frenzied and brutal attack upon an innocent young man. He was, literally, smashed to pieces.

"While this maniac remains at large, all coconuts must exercise the utmost caution: do not accept lifts from strangers, and if you must go out after dark always travel in pairs."

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