Tuesday, 21st January 2020

What sort of denialism is right for you?

WOULD you like to refuse to accept well-established facts? Find out which form of denialism is best for you. 

Climate change denial

Pretend you’re a courageous free-thinker when in fact you’re just a reactionary old git who wants to ban mobile phones to make young people sad. Ideal for pub bores, right-wing comment section trolls demanding evidence, the President of the United States.

Evolution denial

More for religious types, as it requires a certain evangelical zeal to immerse yourself in tedious pseudoscience about missing fossil records. Ideal for religious morons or American televangelists embezzling donations while banging male prostitutes.

Addiction denial 

An excellent way of ignoring warning signs that you may have a problem, like swigging a half-bottle of Vladivar on the morning bus is putting you in the right frame of mind for work, or blowing £300 on coke in a weekend is letting off steam. Ideal for alcoholics, massive stoners, Zammo.

Flat-Earthers

Feel different from the herd by claiming something so childishly ridiculous that only the blessed and pure of thought could swallow it. Ideal for ageing hippies convinced their cat is the reincarnation of John Bonham.

Anti-vaxxers

Endangering not only your own children but the lives of others just to feel superior by watching lunatic YouTube videos is the ultimate power denial move. Ideal for anyone living in total isolation from the rest of humanity or a surprising number of minor 90s celebrities,.

Brexit denial

The only way to cling to the belief that Brexit is still ace, usually by parroting phrases like ‘They need us more than we do them!’ Ideal for Brexiters struggling to explain what they voted for back in 2016.