Woman who greets Northerners by saying ‘Ay oop!’ thinks they like it

A WOMAN believes her pretend Yorkshire accent amuses her Northern workmates, it has emerged.

Janet Fisher, from Kent, believes that as well as being funny, phrases such as ‘Bah goom, me old dooks’ and ‘Ta, chook,’ make Northerners feel at home.

Fisher said: “When they first arrive at the firm, the Northerners always look a bit shy and awkward, but as soon as I have approached them and said, ‘Ee ‘eck! Coopa t’brew, luv!’ you can see them becoming more relaxed.”

Fisher said she was confident talking to Northerners in this manner made them smile and feel “included”, except for those who have a chip on their shoulder.

She added: “I actually have an uncle from Peterborough, so I am part northerner myself, and totally get their quirky sense of humour. Reet t’grand, lard!”

Colleage Roy Hobbs, from Leeds, said: “I haven’t the faintest idea why she persists with it. Both my parents are solicitors and I went to Harrow.”

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IKEA bags suggested as affordable housing alternative

A LARGE hard-wearing IKEA bag could comfortably house a family of four, a government think tank has claimed.

With soaring rents making it impossible for average wage earners to secure a home, it has been suggested that people use the ubiquitous weather-proof bags instead.

Think tank spokesman Wayne Hayes said: “Big IKEA bags only cost 40p. Two adults, two children and probably a small pet could exist quite happily inside.

“Unlike most new build houses, they are designed to last a long time and actually look quite nice. Plus, they repel damp and don’t come with a shiftless, greedy landlord.

 “We believe there is scope for housing people in many other types of bag. For example, less useful family members that take up too much room, such as grandparents, could be kept in hoover bags for ease of storage.”

However middle class person Julian Cook said: “My friends and I have just been around all the IKEAs and bought up every last bag. But you can rent one of us for £80 per week, because we’re nice.”