Women under increasing pressure to have dragons

WOMEN are facing pressure to have at least one baby dragon coiled on their bare shoulders, it has been claimed.

Research by the Institute for Studies found that 79 per cent of men saw dragon ownership as a requirement for any potential female partner.

Susan Traherne of Richmond said: “Dragon eggs cost a fortune. Even if you’re lucky enough to find one for free in a distant mystical land, a hatchling dragon needs minimum two live goats a day.

“If you do get one there’s no guarantee it will obey you. My friend Susan had a smallish grey dragon and it bit her head off then burned down her garage.

“They’re like those pigs that are cute for a bit but then get massive and difficult.”

She added: “Most of my friends bring dragons to work but the nearest I could manage was a chameleon. Everyone laughed and was like ‘what the fuck’s that?’.

“I don’t even have an army of eunuch soldiers.”