GOVERNMENT forces have fallen back from positions in Swindon and Wiltshire, abandoning the town to the Badger Army.
The Department of Agriculture has cancelled planned new fronts in the Badger War to concentrate forces on defending the vital M4 corridor.
Defence analyst Julian Cook said: “The badgers have followed the sinkhole offensive with a series of incursions into Swindon, taking the town street by street.
“The government might want to ask itself if it really believes it can win a ground war in Wiltshire.”
Badger general Nathan Muir said: “For Swindon, badger law is now the only law.
“Reading is next.”