A BUILDER working on a couple’s loft conversion has surpassed their expectations of him being an uncultured, bigoted wanker with zero professionalism.
While installing floorboards and skylights in the Bishop family’s home, builder Steve Malley has subjected them to behaviours they had assumed were offensive stereotypes about working-class tradesmen.
Dad Martin Bishop said: “After turning up late and flicking a dog end into the rockery, immediately evoking a builder in a bad 1970s comedy film, Steve asked me if I’d seen ‘the match’.
“When I said ‘no’ he visibly sneered and then rudely ignored me. However when I took him a cup of sugar with some tea in it, he decided to draw me into an extremely uncomfortable discussion about immigration.
“On his phone he showed me a Twitter video of a helicopter machine-gunning people in a boat, which I assume is a popular racist meme. He assured me that was what ‘we’ should do to ‘them’.
“Haven’t builders got broader interests these days? We could have talked about any number of things – the election, Playstation, recent films. Even some mild sexism about Anya Taylor-Joy would have been acceptable.”
Bishop’s wife Rachel said: “When he wasn’t mysteriously disappearing for long periods in his white van, Steve had the nerve to have a massive chip on his shoulder. I casually mentioned we were going on holiday to France, and his response was, ‘Very la di dah.’
“How can a self-catering flat in Nantes be elitist? It’s the nearest f**king country that isn’t Wales.”
Asked to give his version of events, Malley said: “It’s too easy for people to fall back on lazy class stereotypes when you’re exactly like them in every way.”
