Plucky entrepreneur starts business with nothing but determination and 250 grand from parents

A YOUNG entrepreneur has started a business with nothing but hard work and enough money from his parents to buy a Ferrari.

Plucky Tom Logan has started making ‘organic flip-flops’ in a specially built workshop in the grounds of his parents’ weekend home in the Cotswolds.

Logan, who has yet to make a sale, said: “When I came into this shed I had nothing more than the Comme de Garcons shirt on my back.

“I’m an example of what you can do if you have unreasonable confidence in yourself and have been given everything you wanted.

“I truly believe this business will work. If it doesn’t, I’ll think of some other nonsense or steal an idea off someone else.”

Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg said: “This is what modern Britain needs – young people putting their parents’ tax-free cash from offshore accounts towards harebrained ideas, and doing it all again when it inevitably goes wrong.”

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Adults upset about drinking straws reminded that they are adults using drinking straws

PEOPLE of 18 and over complaining about paper drinking straws have been reminded they could lift their drinking vessels to their mouths like the grown-ups they are. 

Those complaining have also been advised that paper straws are not difficult to use, that change is inevitable and if they are whinging about this then riding a bike to work will surely kill them and none too soon.

Emma Bradford said: “Don’t like paper straws? Cut out the fucking middleman.

“If you’re over 12 years old and unlikely to tip your drink all over youself, you need a very good excuse for a straw in your drink and ‘being a bellend’ isn’t good enough.

“Maybe – maybe – if you’re on a hen night and you’re drinking from a hollowed-out melon it’s justified, because hen nights are as damaging to the environment as transatlantic flights anyway.

“But for anyone else, there’s only one thing that makes you look more of a twat than drinking fizzy pop with a red and white stripy straw, and that’s complaining about it.

“Either shut up, swig it out of the bottle, or die of thirst.”