Twats have booked the next fortnight off

THE worst possible twats who worked over Christmas have booked the next two weeks off, it has emerged. 

All the smug dickheads who selflessly offered to carry the burden while everyone else pissed about are now off for a fortnight while there is actual serious work to be done.

Tom Logan of Crawley said: “Oh, did I not mention this while you were wasting precious holiday on visiting relatives and sitting about bored eating biscuits? Yeah. Off mate.

“Two weeks off in January. Just as shit really gets started in the office, this selfless servant of the greater good is skipping off for a full fortnight.

“Where am I going? You’d like it to be nowhere, wouldn’t you. You’d like me to be so exhausted I need this time just to recharge. You’d still resent it, but not as much as the two weeks in Jamaica I’m actually having.

“Yeah that’s right. I’m spending two weeks in a tropical paradise while you’re in Britain in January. And those days I worked over Christmas? There was f**k all to do because nobody was in. Ha.”

Colleague Joanna Kramer said: “I hate him so, so much. I’m doing it next year.”

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Boss who doesn't know your name would like to see more commitment from you

A REGIONAL manager who has never bothered to find out your name is offended by your lack of commitment to your job.

Despite being vague about what you do, how long you have been in your role and never addressing you by name, senior manager Carolyn Ryan wants you to stay late without pay or time off in lieu to show you are a team player.

She said: “Hey. I know it’s not been easy for anyone these last two years, whatever your domestic situation might, or might not, be.

“But I see you here at this desk every day and what I don’t see is an effort to really engage in our business. We consider ourselves a bit of a family, but where are you when we all went out for karaoke? Oh, you were there, apparently, but were you really there?

“I’m sending you emails and I’m getting a bounce-back notification saying the address wasn’t found. Not the kind of look we want for a client-facing role.”

Employee Jack Browne said: “After that she sent in an official complaint about me, calling me by the name of the junior marketing manager in the office upstairs.

“I forwarded it to his boss.”