A PAMPERED office worker is daydreaming of ditching his desk job for manual labour that would immediately destroy him.
IT worker Joseph Turner, whose most strenuous daily task involves adjusting his ergonomic chair, is idly fantasising about ruining his fragile body by becoming something more manly like a welder, bricklayer or hod carrier.
Turner said: “Working in a role that won’t wreck me by the time I’m 40 is fine enough. But there’s something truly noble about lugging around sacks of concrete while being shouted at by a guy called Gaz.
“Slowly responding to tickets in a condescending manner while putting minimal strain on my joints doesn’t command the same respect as toiling away on a construction site. Plus the banter is just memes sent over Slack, and none of it’s delightfully problematic.
“Admittedly, I don’t own a toolbox and my soft, delicate hands have never even changed a lightbulb, but how punishing can bone-grinding manual labour actually be? I did the first week of Couch to 5K a couple of years ago which shows I’m physically capable.
“Oh, who am I kidding, I just want to be paid to read the Sunday Sport in a van.”
Plasterer Wayne Hayes said: “Joseph’s welcome to swap with me. I’ve always fantasised about earning shitloads for telling people to restart their computers.”
