THE Edinburgh Fringe has begun, with thousands of thespians handing out flyers to confused Americans only there for the Tattoo. What show are you taking up?
Julian Cook, actor: “A one-man show about gay artist Cy Twombly, exploring his life, work and sexuality. Yes, I’m nude. Yes, throughout. Yes, that’s the only reason I’m doing it.”
Lauren Hewitt, comedian: “F**ksake, I’ve spent a year preparing a transphobic stand-up set to get cancelled and profit from the resulting publicity, but now they’re only cancelling pro-Israel shows. Bloody lefties, always moving the goalposts.”
Jimmy Bates, clown: “Hamlet on stilts. Because you’ve seen Hamlet, but you haven’t seen it on stilts.”
Francesca Johnson, sixth-form tutor: “August: Osage County, a sensitive exploration of family, tragedy and traumatic legacies performed by overprivileged girls at a £30,000-a-term boarding school. They’re going to f**king murder it.”
Steve Malley, puppeteer: “A mime show with puppets. Ah, you’ve already left.”
