THE Labour Party has denied claims by the working classes that they have quit Labour out of disillusionment, saying it was Labour who split with them first.
Rachel Reeves’ refusal to back public workers during a strike, Labour’s paltry wage increase for nurses, and the trade union UNISON’s withdrawal of funding have led some to mistakenly believe it was the workers who ended it with Labour.
Labour spokeswoman Donna Sheridan said: “They can make out it was them that split up from us to try and feel in control or whatever, but it was us that sent them the text saying it was over.
“The truth is, we wanted to leave the working classes a long time ago. I mean, who calls themselves ‘working class’ these days?’ Where are your aspirations? Your enterprise? Your personal hygiene?
“Basically you’re saying ‘We wear cloth caps and we smell’. The leadership always dresses smartly and isn’t afraid to make new friends like big corporate donors and the Queen. When we’re out together you plebs are an embarrassment to us.
“There’s no point in dwelling on the good times, like when we set up the welfare state. We’ve met some really nice Tory voters, and I may as well tell you now, we’re moving in together.”
Left-wing voter Wayne Hayes said: “I should have realised something was wrong when Starmer started getting into patriotic war stuff and NATO. With hindsight he was just dolling himself up for his new squeeze, Brexiters.”