THEIR secret summit proves it: Remainers are plotting to reverse Brexit, and their agents walk among us. Your boss? Your best friend? Your wife? Expose the traitors:
Your MP
Are they a member of one of the parties at the summit? Or worse, a Lib Dem? Then they’re part of it. These saboteurs dynamiting the foundation of democracy itself have declared themselves enemies of the people. Only the Reform Party, formerly Nige and the Anti-Lockdown Massive, formerly UKIP, can be trusted.
Your employer
Hearing unpatriotic whining about ‘staff shortages’ or ‘falling turnover’ or ‘export costs’? That’s seditious talk. Brexit is perfect therefore its economic effects are perfect therefore any complaining about it is counter-revolutionary. The business should be requisitioned and handed over to believers like yourself.
Your husband
‘There’s nothing on the bloody shelves in Sainsbury’s,’ he says, in the slip that proves he’s one of them. ‘And the prices!’ he continues, giving it all away. Why knock our Europe-beating inflation if Brussels’s nanobots aren’t controlling his brainstem? Regretfully, you heft a spade and prepare to strike.
Your dog
Taking Churchill for a walk, you’re whistling Land of Hope and Glory as you pass the council estate to let them know you’re on side with the proletarian revolution. Then he lets loose with a massive loose bowel movement and you step in it. My God. They’ve even taken control of our pets.
Jeremy Clarkson
No man represents all that is Great about Britain like Clarkson, but this farm show? His ceaseless carping about agriculture not being helped by Brexit, when the multi-national farms are collectively groaning with produce and alive with song? They’ve got to him. Probably through a woman.
Yourself
How, you wonder, staring in the mirror, can you be sure they haven’t got to you? That the so-called vaccine isn’t lying dormant, ready for 5G activation? When you have thoughts like ‘well it’s really not made much difference’ and ‘even Gove’s changed his mind’? Face it. This is down to you.
